It seems like a rather long time ever since i set foot in perth. But in just 4 days time, i'll be returning to what seems like a rather distant place that used to be home. So much things has happened in the past year and all happened at rather unpredictable time. This year has been a real roller coaster ride for me. I've fallen and picked myself up countless of times and each time i attempt to pick myself up, pieces of me get left behind. Maybe it is the universe's way of telling us that we must grow up whether we like it or not.
30th of October 2006 is the date when all things crashed down hard on me. I literally broke into a million pieces like someone who has just fallen from the hundreth floor. I expected it to happen but i didn't expect it to happen when it was just one week before my finals. Things have changed for the worst a week before my prelimary exams and now this. I can't help but wonder if i really deserve this. What have i done so wrong to deserve something like this?
A friend told me that it'll be okay, that things will be better tomorrow. But each day just escalates higher with regret and sadness. I told her that she has my support in whatever she chooses even before she said a word because i could read her like a book. It was my worst nightmare come true and that was when i knew all was lost. All my hopes and dreams with her came crashing down the moment she answered yes to the most dreaded question.
And yet, a part of me kept telling me to fight for her. She told me that she still cared and she told me lots of things which caused me to swirl into a pool of confusion. She doesn't know what she wants, but it's clear enough that she wants her. She told me she would wait for me, but she lied. Now she just wants to forget me. I don't know what to feel anymore. I was frozen ever since that afternoon. Till now i have not healed and yet i initated our friendship with such ease. What am i doing? I know that i'll get hurt even more by doing that, but i just had to do it didn't i?
Cynthia has been my soul support these days. She has been a deary and listened to my woes and tearful events for many nights now and i'm so grateful for a friend like her. Thanks to Chris(U noe wad i'm thanking you for), Shar ( my little Sis) , Kristie and others. Thanks for seeing the weak side of me and still stayed by my side. I'm eternally greatful.
Returning to Singapore means a whole lot more of issues to clear and troubles to face. I don't know if i can take it. But i know that Honey Bun will be by my side if things gets worst.
You were my everything
My light, my shadow, my soul
I'll give anything just to call you my babe again
I'll give anything to call you my friend
I'll turn my back from my life and give you everything you'd wish for
Just tell me that you still love me
Tell me everything will turn out fine again
Fix my heart back
I swear i'll be good this time
I'll stay by your side and give you a simple life
I had forsaken all others
But why did u let her in?
I'm still deep in wonder
Have you really forgotten abt me?
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