I guess saying farewell is never easy. But i have said mine, which is only half of a goodye. Long distance relationships are difficult.





Farewell
Fate brought us together
Fate also tore us apart
Before a geological barrier settled in between
We were as tight as buckles
We were invincible
We trusted each other completely
& most importantly
We loved each other so much
We thought that our love could over come all obstacles
But fate decided to turn it's back on us
I was never there when you needed me
She was there when u needed someone
I didn't give you the care and understanding you required
She was there to fill in those blanks
She stayed beside you & held you through your worst moments
The things i should have done...
I thought you were strong enough...
But now i know you're frail..
I've failed you as a girlfriend and a fiance
I've haven't tried my best to spend sufficient time with you
Neither have i given you the shoulder you needed
I was never there
& i deserve this ending...
Now...
Looking at my bowl of Korean noodles with a single egg with a perfect yolk makes tears swell in the corner of my eyes..
Leather pouches, bags and hand crafts were bought but never given...
Black letters and white pens... Black earrings...
Monkies & FroGGies brings backs so much memories
That are so hard to just sweep aside
Hearing that you're sick makes my heart ache
Hearing that you're sad makes me even sadder...
The worst is to know that you still care...
And i know you still love me ...
But we are just not possible...
At least not now...
So much pain and sorrow I've brought you
I just want to say I'm sorry
I didn't cherish you enough
& I'm glad you've found her
You told me that you'll learn to forget me
Can i say don't go?
I told you a lie & i know you can tell
But i can't lie about one thing
& that is i still love you
But seeing you happy is more than enough
At least now there's someone to cherish you more than i
At least now I'm being punished for my selfishness
At least now you can have the simple life you've longed for
And i meant it with all my heart when i said that I'm happy for you
Now...
I'll just have to learn to let you go
Slowly I'll learn to be me again
If fate really meant for us to be together
We'll meet again sometime in our lives
Maybe than we'll have a happy ending
Maybe than i can complete your lose bits again
You were the greatest gf one could hope for
At least to me you were...
& i never regretted being with you
Thanks for every single thing you have done for me
Thanks for all the happy memories
I'll carry them in my heart forever
And my doors are always open for you
& you know it...
I'll learn from these mistakes
& if there's one chance
I'll take it...
Just one word from you is all i need
My final goodbyes to you Jia Jia
Yours Only,
Kha Kha
(20th March 05-30th October 06)
p.s(Sometimes Love just ain't enough...)

Where i am

It seems like a rather long time ever since i set foot in perth. But in just 4 days time, i'll be returning to what seems like a rather distant place that used to be home. So much things has happened in the past year and all happened at rather unpredictable time. This year has been a real roller coaster ride for me. I've fallen and picked myself up countless of times and each time i attempt to pick myself up, pieces of me get left behind. Maybe it is the universe's way of telling us that we must grow up whether we like it or not.

30th of October 2006 is the date when all things crashed down hard on me. I literally broke into a million pieces like someone who has just fallen from the hundreth floor. I expected it to happen but i didn't expect it to happen when it was just one week before my finals. Things have changed for the worst a week before my prelimary exams and now this. I can't help but wonder if i really deserve this. What have i done so wrong to deserve something like this?

A friend told me that it'll be okay, that things will be better tomorrow. But each day just escalates higher with regret and sadness. I told her that she has my support in whatever she chooses even before she said a word because i could read her like a book. It was my worst nightmare come true and that was when i knew all was lost. All my hopes and dreams with her came crashing down the moment she answered yes to the most dreaded question.

And yet, a part of me kept telling me to fight for her. She told me that she still cared and she told me lots of things which caused me to swirl into a pool of confusion. She doesn't know what she wants, but it's clear enough that she wants her. She told me she would wait for me, but she lied. Now she just wants to forget me. I don't know what to feel anymore. I was frozen ever since that afternoon. Till now i have not healed and yet i initated our friendship with such ease. What am i doing? I know that i'll get hurt even more by doing that, but i just had to do it didn't i?

Cynthia has been my soul support these days. She has been a deary and listened to my woes and tearful events for many nights now and i'm so grateful for a friend like her. Thanks to Chris(U noe wad i'm thanking you for), Shar ( my little Sis) , Kristie and others. Thanks for seeing the weak side of me and still stayed by my side. I'm eternally greatful.

Returning to Singapore means a whole lot more of issues to clear and troubles to face. I don't know if i can take it. But i know that Honey Bun will be by my side if things gets worst.


You were my everything
My light, my shadow, my soul
I'll give anything just to call you my babe again
I'll give anything to call you my friend
I'll turn my back from my life and give you everything you'd wish for
Just tell me that you still love me
Tell me everything will turn out fine again
Fix my heart back
I swear i'll be good this time
I'll stay by your side and give you a simple life
I had forsaken all others
But why did u let her in?
I'm still deep in wonder
Have you really forgotten abt me?